How could you optimize the enjoyment of a moment? Lately I’ve been taking life in differently. I’ve been appreciating the little things. Trying to keep moments for longer than possible. Trying to freeze time. Looking at myself like they do in the movies, like an out of body experience. Where looking around brings a sudden sense of bliss. Those are the moments that I want to keep. Not in a jar, not in my brain, but keep them happening. In those moments I become aware that one day they’ll just be a memory. The feelings I’m feeling, I won’t feel again. The eyes I’m looking into, will be far away. Feelings are not like words. You cannot save them for later enjoyment. You cannot recreate special moments. You can only enjoy them as they are happening and be at peace with the fact that they’ll never be again.
No moment will ever be this perfect. Yes, I can have more perfect moments. But never this one again. I’ll never feel the crisp air through my window like I do right now. I’ll never smell the woody scent again. I’ll never be positioned on the bed the same: legs tied together, our faces at perfect symmetry, smiling.
Moments cannot be saved but they can be cherished. Deep inside we can keep them, and although we’ll never feel the feelings again, we could remember them, if we take them in long enough. So sometimes, I like to make the world stop. I like to take in every detail and archive it for later. For when times are no longer the same. So I can take myself back to better days. When my window drew light, and the woody scent filled my nose. Where a pair of eyes looked deep into mine and they smiled. Like me, they too felt bliss. They felt comfort. They felt peace.