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Walt Disney

Submitted by: Annonymous

I feel overwhelmed, the love of my life treats me like I’m regular when he knows I’d do anything and everything for him. I’ve loved him since I was 16 and my love for him never stopped. We’ve had ups and downs, wars, makeups, breakups, times where we stopped talking for months. When we did start talking again we would meet up and have the most amazing sex, all our pain, our happiness, and anger put together, then we would just lie there next to each other not saying a word. I wonder what he was thinking … and was he thinking about me .he’d ask me ” you good” and I nod my head, yes but my heart was full of regret. In my head the bad times didn’t matter, they didn’t last, but when they did last they last forever. I cry all night, and my heart feels tightened & I’m breathless, it feels likes someone took my heart and put it through a paper shredder. I feel anxious, and my mind wanders with thoughts of the next woman he’s with, who is she? What does she do? What does he see in her? Times like this I felt the most self-conscious about myself, I wasn’t skinny my hair wasn’t up to my butt. I didn’t have a butt and maybe at times, I felt worthless. The confidence I have is a barrier I had to learn to build over the years because I hate showing how I really feel inside, ugly. Ugly for the things I’ve done, said and experienced. Through all this brokenness I still loved him. When we’re good; we’re good. I tingle at the thought of laying next to you, caressing your beard, one of the things about you that I love most. I can watch you sleep for hours, I daydream of our future, we would have 4 kids, 3 boys, and 1 girl. You’ll be the strict dad that wants things done your way, and il be the mom that’s all cool and mellow. It resembles the American dream, a house full of kids, a dog and a white picket fence…. perfect. When I come back to reality its over, it’s all gone and here I am at 21 years old,” deciding” whether to stay single so I can keep fooling around with you, the love of my life that would never take me serious, that’s broken me so many times ; or say yes and become a wife to this other amazing man that would do anything and everything for me. The feelings aren’t the same, you appreciate the things people do for you, but you appreciate it more when it’s someone you are in love with. I’m not obsessed. If people were to know his actual mindset they’d be in love too. The way he speaks about his past, present & future inspires me, and don’t we all need a little inspiration? I spent a night with him, the best night I’ve ever had with him. He picked me up, we got some beers and we smoked hookah in his room. We spoke about our families, our childhood, current gossip between our friends, and we listened to old merengue. He told me secrets, and that made me feel special knowing he can confide in me, I know he cares for me and I know deep down he does actually love me, but he’s never admitted it and he never will. The first time I went Disney world it made me feel like there was always a good side to life, a good and a bad, and maybe in that moment, me and him, in his bedroom ….. we weren’t so bad. But good times never last when it comes to me and him. Disney World has to close some time .

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